she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
