we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
