sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
