I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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