it wasn't lemon gatorade
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
