I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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