Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
What a dumb baby whore.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
