I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
