I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
