Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize