I must be too annoying 4 u.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize