I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize