if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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