Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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