im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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