I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
