At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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