when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
