Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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