I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
