tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
