I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
