apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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