man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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