3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
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These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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