I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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