Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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