Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
