I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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