he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize