this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
