What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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