I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Boobs are out for the taking
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
