I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
