If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's rum buckets o'clock
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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