need another drink. this is the easiest way
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
How external is "for external use only"?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Let's get the cat blown out
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
