That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
