People with herpes should wear stickers.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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