i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Farmville is her only friend.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
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