true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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