Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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