Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
