omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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