You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
