why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
