i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
