It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
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I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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