dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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