I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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