This house was built for laser tag.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
All the doctor said was why
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
