You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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