I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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