Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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