Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
