maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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