I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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