Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
