you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
