Whod you bang
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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