It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
