and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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