It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
