I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
