If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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