Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
