i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
