i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize