Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
